


broke your heart (i’ll put it back together)

by delorange



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, how it should’ve ended, post 13x24, these two are the hill i will die on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:42:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28038615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delorange/pseuds/delorange
Summary: jackson and april are on their way home after the fire. things need to be said.
Relationships: Jackson Avery/April Kepner
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	broke your heart (i’ll put it back together)

**Author's Note:**

> this is short i’m sorry and i wrote it in about half an hour whilst crying so. i will never forgive this show if they’re not endgame x 
> 
> also yeah unedited blah blah what else would u expect from me x
> 
> title from how you get the girl by taylor swift

“You’re quiet.”

It’s the day after the explosion. Jackson can’t really remember the last time he slept. He wants to sleep, really bad. But, across from him in the passenger seat, April looks like she’s going to burst out into tears any second. She’s curled in on herself the way she does when she’s upset, and “you’re quiet” probably isn’t the right thing to say, but Jackson doesn’t want to overstep. 

“I want my baby,” she mumbles into her jacket. Her voice cracks, “Maggie likes you back, by the way.”

“She does?” His heart nearly, nearly skips a beat, but it’s hard to feel anything other than an overwhelming weight when April is like this. 

April nods weakly, taking a sharp breath. She sniffles, and buries her head back into her jacket. “She’s really great.” Now her voice is thick with tears, and Jackson pulls the car over. Her head falls onto his shoulder and the sobs come loud and fast. “I nearly lost you today.”

He sighs, tears welling in his own eyes. Not only did he leave Stephanie with a rapist, he upset April to the point where she’s crying into his shoulder. “I know, I’m sorry, I just... I left Edwards with the rapist. It was my fault.”

April shakes her head, “No...”

“It was-”

She cuts him off, a streak of painful frustration flashing in her eyes. “No, Jackson, that’s not- that’s not what I meant.” 

He whispers her name, and she wipes her eyes to look at him, straight into his eyes. “When I went on those dates, did it feel like this?”

And Jackson’s heart breaks. Because he knows exactly what ‘this’ is, and he wanted to protect April from it, no matter how long it’s been. Maggie’s just... worth it. Or, he thought she was, until he saw April again. Really saw her, looked past the things that broke their marriage up and to the things he loves, even still.

She’s the mother of his child, and nobody could be more important to him than that, but she’s not just that. She’s his ex-wife, sure, but before that, they were in love. Love doesn’t just end, not even the platonic love they shared since Mercy West. He wishes he could go back to Mercy West, he wishes he could go back and experience it all again for the first time, and just tweak their ending, just slightly. 

It’s not like he hasn’t had the opportunities. He could’ve listened a little more, looked for a lawyer a little less. He could’ve reacted a little better to the news of the pregnancy, he could’ve frozen her out a little less. He could’ve told her how he really felt after their night in Montana, he could’ve been a lot less of a coward. 

This is his chance, and he knows it, but what he doesn’t know is whether he’ll get another one. He can’t waste a single one more. 

So he nods and pulls her closer. “Yeah...”

There’s a fresh round of sobs, and this time he’s joining in. For the missed opportunities, and the wasted time, but for the guilt and anger at making April feel this way. He sets his jaw through the tears and holds her head, gently lifting it to look at him. “I’m not going out with her. You’ll never feel like this again, April Kepner, I swear to you.”

And then, before he can register what’s happening, April darts forwards and her lips are even better than he remembers. Every time he thinks he’s had enough, he gets another hit and the addiction reignites hotter and brighter than ever. She’s soft and gentle, but also strong and brave and he loves her so, so much. 

“We’re a mess,” she whispers onto his lips. Despite the wetness on his cheeks, he smiles, and she does too. It’s a massive relief, party because he’s not sure he could’ve done this for much longer. Felt like he did, whilst acting like they did, living together but not together and with their daughter. But mostly because April is finally smiling at him again, and it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. 

“A perfect mess.”


End file.
